The shi**est merch we’ve ever received

Corporate gifting can make or break your brand reputation, but a lot of companies get it spectacularly wrong — from tech that breaks within months to novelty gifts that miss the mark. 

We asked MOOsters and friends to share their most memorable corporate gifts – and not the good kind of memorable. The “why did someone think this was a good idea?” kind.

This guide breaks down the four main categories of corporate gifting disasters and what you can learn from them.

Tech that betrays you

If you’re going to give tech, it needs to actually work (and keep working). Otherwise, you’re just creating a very specific kind of brand association: the one where people remember your company every time something breaks.

Hannah, our Senior Sales Manager, has accumulated quite the graveyard:

“These multi-chargers seem to be all the rage. We’ve probably acquired 10 over the last few years, and they are fairly useful at first, but not a single one of them has lasted more than 9-12 months before they’ve totally stopped working. Given most of the companies at these events are in the tech space, I don’t think that’s a great look.”

Mariana, our Content Manager, had a similar experience:

“I received one of these branded wireless charger that is useless. They don’t charge unless you put your phone in the weirdest angle. Also, the lead is tiny.“

And Jenny, our Customer Service Senior Supervisor, rounds out the tech graveyard tour:

“I used to get given loads of power bank chargers and they lasted about 9-12 months before they stopped working.”

The MOO take: Tech gifts feel generous until they stop working. Then, they become a reminder that someone cut corners. If you’re going to give something functional, make sure it actually lives longer than the average houseplant.

When novelty backfires

We love a creative concept. We really do. But sometimes the execution doesn’t live up to the idea.

Hannah also has this confectionery nightmare:

“I queued for 30 minutes to get a 3D scan of my head printed as a chocolate lollipop. Have to say, I wasn’t too pleased with how it came out.”

30 minutes in line, and the payoff is… unsettling. 

Claire, our Chief Product & Technology Officer, witnessed a particularly painful brand mismatch:

“I was at a conference when a major toy brand was doing the keynote. And the conference provider had left everyone fake versions of their iconic product as a gift on their seat!”

Imagine: you’re about to hear from one of the most recognizable brands in the world, and someone decides knock-off versions of their product were the move. That’s not just missing the mark –that’s actively undermining the entire event.

And then there’s Abi, our Creative Artworker, who received this gem:

“Not a bad quality tote bag, but one with a torturous pun.”

A decent piece of merch, ruined by someone who thought they were funnier than they actually were. Hilariously awkward.

The MOO take: Novelty needs to land, or it just becomes an office joke. If your gift idea needs an explanation or only works in theory, it’s probably worth rethinking. Often, the best gifts are the ones that don’t try too hard and are just nice to have.

The security risk you didn’t ask for

Charles, our Senior Software Engineer, takes us into genuinely dangerous territory:

“Years ago, I found a USB at an international security conference that when I analyzed it, had malware. The same can happen for cables, too, which is why I suggest USB data blockers. It’s always worth travelling with a couple of these guys.”

Let’s be clear: giving someone malware is not a branding opportunity you want to pursue. Even accidentally.

The MOO take: If you’re giving tech, source it responsibly. Your branded USB shouldn’t include unexpected features like compromised security. When in doubt, stick to gifts that can’t accidentally destroy someone’s laptop.

The “what were they thinking?” category

Some gifts defy categorization. They’re not broken. They’re not dangerous. They’re just… baffling.

Bex, our Senior Content Manager, was briefly excited:

“Here’s my plastic bracelet given to me at the 2024 Podcast Show in London. Initially, I was like FUN. But soon it was like… well, where is the nearest trashcan?”

That initial ‘fun!’ feeling had a very short shelf life.

Claire also received what can only be described as a mixed message:

“Cheap tat that I was given as a speaker gift (although it did contain a genuine Apple Air Tag in it, too!”

Now that’s branded merch that screams “we didn’t really think about this” while simultaneously including a $29 Apple AirTag. The mixed signals are doing a lot of work here.

And then there’s Jenny’s story, which raises questions we don’t have answers for:

“I also recently got given a pair of men’s socks after attending a talk…”

We’re as confused as you are.

But our Senior Software Engineer Mark’s experience tops them all: 

“Instead of a promised Christmas bonus one year, we all got a refrigerator magnet.”

Ouch. That’s a masterclass in how to lose employee trust in one fell swoop.

The MOO take: Context matters. A gift that works for one situation might be completely wrong for another. And replacing something people were actually expecting (like, say, a bonus) with branded merch is a shortcut to becoming a cautionary tale. Know your audience, understand the moment, and above all else, don’t promise one thing and deliver another.

What MOO learned from all this

After hearing these stories, we’re even more convinced of what we already knew: corporate gifting isn’t about volume or novelty, or getting your logo on anything. It’s about giving people something they’ll actually keep and remember.

Here’s what actually works:

Prioritise quality over quantity:

One really nice thing beats 10 forgettable things every single time. People remember how a gift feels, like the weight of good paper, or the feel of a beautifully designed Notebook.

Think about lifespan:

If your gift breaks, wears out, or stops working within months, you’ve just created a negative brand touchpoint. For gifts that keep on giving, choose a slow burner instead. 

Make it useful without being gimmicky:

The sweet spot is ‘thoughtful usefulness’. Things people actually need and will enjoy using. Not things that just claim it.

Know when to skip the branding:

Corporate gifts don’t have to scream your logo from every surface. Subtle branding (or even unbranded) quality merch can create better associations than logo-plastered everything.

Never, ever replace something meaningful with merch:

A magnet is not a bonus. Socks are not a thoughtful speaker gift. Know the difference between genuine generosity and checking a box.

The bar for corporate gifts is surprisingly low. MOO can help.

We make things that stick around. Explore our full range of gift options.

And with MOO Business Services, our team of experts can help you create corporate gifts that don’t end up in the trash. To get started, fill in this simple form, and a member of our team will be in touch shortly.